


My Roommate.

by sarajinki



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Crushing on each other without knowing trope, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 08:29:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20485895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarajinki/pseuds/sarajinki
Summary: Taemin becomes Kibum’s roommate and all seems to be fine, but what happens when secrets and feelings are thrown into the mix?





	1. Part I.

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt I took from one of my readers back in 2016.  
Cross-posting from AFF @sarajinki
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :)

Kibum sighed as he sent off the last guy that had called for an interview. He just knew it wouldn't click as the guy had described his love for chicken wings and football games. He had looked like just the type to bring friends over on a school night and make noise until the rise of dawn. He had no interest in that. He only wanted a roommate who he could share tasks and rent with and hopefully who shared the same sense of serenity that he liked to have in his living space. For that, he had always fought to keep living on his own, but the reality was that he couldn't afford paying rent whilst not working full time. He wasn't going to sacrifice his studies just to make that happen. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like chance was on his side. He cringed at the thought of having to pack up his things and move back into his parents' house. He never wanted to go back there again. Loving his peace also meant loving his independency.

He let himself drop on the couch before setting his laptop right back on his lap. It was still warm from the prolonged activity it had been put through. He had spent all morning looking for auditions, his friend having sent him a few trails to follow. He had fallen in love with being on stage, but he craved a larger audience. He wanted to get out of the university theater or the nearby parks. He wanted to be known and recognized for his talents. He hadn't had much support when he had set out to follow acting courses, but the belief he had in himself was enough to move mountains. He had decided there was no other way if he ever wanted to survive in this world.

He kept scrolling through the different sites, feeling anticipation grow inside him. He picked up his phone as he paused, but just as he was about to dial his friend's number, he heard the doorbell. He cocked an eyebrow in confusion. He was pretty sure he hadn't set up any more interviews for today and none of his friends had called to say that they were coming. With the same confused expression on his face, he walked towards the front door and after taking a deep breath, he opened it. His mouth fell slightly open as he took in the sight of a beautiful boy standing at the entrance. The latter's lips stretched out into a wide smile before he let out a chuckle.

'I'm sorry to show up unannounced, but I saw your ad in the uni's journal... Are you still looking for a roommate?' The boy asked in a voice much deeper than the taller one would've expected.

Kibum just stood there for a few seconds, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. When he finally got back to himself, he nodded and moved out of the way to let the other in.

'Yeah... um, I still haven't found one yet so...' He worded awkwardly as they moved to the living room. There, he just stood again, looking for what to say next.

'Can you show me around?' The other finally put in as another smile lit his face.

'Of course,' Kibum instantly answered as he realized how dumb he must've just looked.

He started from where they were and then moved to the kitchen, the little area beside it where there was a little dining table, the bathroom, the two bedrooms and then back to the living room again.

'So?' The brunette verified as he finished his little tour.

'I really like it,' the other answered in all honesty. He suddenly bowed. 'I just realized I haven't introduced myself,' he said as he straightened. 'My name's Taemin,' he completed bashfully.

'My name's Kibum,' the brunette answered as he finally remembered how to smile. 'Nice to meet you,' he said right before gesturing for the other to sit on the couch.

As he did, Kibum settle right before him, intent on carrying on with the process as if it were anyone else. He had always been sensitive to beauty, but he didn't want to be bought by a pretty face.

'So if you move in, the rent would be split in half. 550 $ a month each,' he put out right off the bat. 'And the same would go for tasks,' he added right after.

'Yeah, totally,' Taemin acknowledged without hesitation.

'Good,' Kibum uttered firmly. 'What are you studying?' he then inquired.

'Dance,' the other said with lots of pride. 'I've been dancing since I was little,' he added on cheerfully.

_'I bet you have,'_ Kibum thought as he let his gaze travel along his body. He was very slim and the brunette had no doubt how lithe that body could be.

'What kind of dance do you practice?' he sought for his own curiosity.

'Well I started with ballet and classic jazz when I was younger, but now I'm more into modern stuff,' the other shared.

'Wow, that's nice,' Kibum exclaimed as he felt admiration for him. He had respect for anyone with a lasting passion.

'What are you studying?' Taemin asked in turn.

'I study Theater,' he responded with the same pride.

The other's eyes lit with joy. 'Oh wow, that's cool. We're both into arts then,' he observed.

Kibum let out a little laugh. 'Yeah, it is,' he agreed as all the other questions he had in mind disappeared.

'Well to be honest, Taemin... I'd love to have you as a roommate,' he continued as he looked straight into his eyes.

'Thank you,' the other uttered with palpable relief. 'I still need to put my stuff into boxes, but in a few days, I should be all set,' he laid out.

'Perfect,' Kibum concluded with a wide smile.

Taemin got up, making him do the same. As they reached the front door, the blonde turned around and gave the other another stunning smile. 'See you soon,' he said right before he stepped out.

Kibum slightly bowed his head before he closed the door again. He could feel his heart beating faster. He suddenly wondered if this was a chance or a curse.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As the weeks went by, Kibum felt like he couldn't have taken a better decision. Everything was going just fine between them. Taemin always paid rent on time, he cleaned whenever he had to and didn't make much noise despite having to sometimes practice in the apartment. They had even set out times for them to spend with each other, whether it was watching the other perform or going out to eat or shop. Those planned out moments turned into a genuine friendship. They were getting to be an integrant part of each other's lives, sharing daily events that had happened to them whenever they found themselves around the dinner table or whenever one decided to barge into the other's room.

This was just one of those other times. Kibum jumped as the younger one flung the door wide open, revealing him in his pyjamas and glasses. He looked up with some annoyance, having been immersed in a thriller novel. The sentiment dissipated instantly as he set eyes on the other's natural cuteness. Sometimes he just wished he could give his face a good slap. But he knew that'd be too cruel. He really had done nothing to deserve it.

'Sorry for bothering you Bummie,' the blonde said in a shy tone. 'I just wanted to let you know that I'm heading out,' he finished as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Kibum looked at his alarm clock. 'What?' he exclaimed loudly despite himself. 'It's almost midnight,' he pointed out with the same outrage.

'I know...' Taemin uttered softly. 'It's just that our crew called for a practice and I can't really miss it,' he explained with what felt like guilt.

'Wow... you guys never quit,' Kibum finally said as he shook himself out of his surprise.

Taemin couldn't help but laugh. 'It's unusual even for us, I don't think it'll happen again,' he pointed out.

Kibum smiled. 'Well have a good practice. And try not to make too much noise when you get back,' he added before picking up his book again.

'I promise,' the younger one said before he closed his door.

Indeed, when Kibum woke up it was morning again. He was grateful for having nothing disturb his sleep. He could get pretty cranky when he didn't get a good night's sleep. He got out of his bed, ready to get on with his morning routine. He had class in a few hours, but nothing to do in between. He could already picture the pancakes he would finally have the time to make. After making a quick stop to the bathroom, he walked to the kitchen and started setting out all that he needed to cook his favorite breakfast. Just as he was about to start mixing the different ingredients, he suddenly had the thought to check on Taemin. He just needed to put his mind at ease. He walked over to his room and knocked. Getting no answer, he pushed the door open and as he peeked inside, he realized there was no one there. He gasped in surprise as he opened it widely, just to make sure it was really empty. He stepped out again and walked slowly back to the kitchen. He couldn't help but feel worried. He doubted that practice had lasted that long. It was now almost 9 am and surely he should've been back by now. He picked up his phone and dialled his number. He waited and waited and waited as it rung before it finally directed him to his voicemail. He hung up. He tried to shake the feeling off as he went on with his cooking.

_'He's fine,' _he kept repeating to himself.

The pancakes were almost done when the front door finally opened. Kibum felt his heart skip a beat. He didn't know why he was so on edge, but the sight of him didn't help in that regard as he came forward with a worn-out face.

'Are you okay, Tae?' Kibum instantly verified with some panic.

The other's lips stretched out into a lazy smile. 'Practice was intense... I'm just really tired,' he explained in a weary tone.

'You were practicing all that time?' Kibum exclaimed with disbelief.

Taemin nodded before letting his head rest against the counter. 'I have to go back tonight,' he then muttered.

Kibum blinked a few times, not knowing how to react anymore. 'Really?' he sought earnestly.

'Yeah...' He lifted his head back up. 'Don't worry, Bummie...' he said in a soft tone as he took the other's hand in his. 'It's just that there are competitions coming up and we need to be ready,' he justified accordingly.

'Yeah, but... You need to sleep too,' the older one pointed out.

'You're right... But maybe I should eat first, I'm starving,' he shared with an honest laugh.

'The smell of my pancakes would make anyone hungry,' Kibum boasted jokingly. 'Go sit, I'll bring you a plate,' he indicated.

Taemin walked to their dining table after removing his coat. He waited patiently as the brunette set some fruits and maple syrup on top of the pile of pancakes he had put in a plate for him. He smiled to himself. He was beyond lucky to have such a compassionate roommate. The last thing he wanted was to lose him.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kibum sighed as he put down the script he had been practicing for almost three hours now. His head was reeling with the lines he would be delivering in front of important people. He never felt really nervous days before a play, but this time was different. It would only be a few minutes of acting, but those few minutes could probably change his life. Even though he had rationalized with the fact that one negative response didn't mean his career would be over, he still feared feeling that way. He liked getting what he wanted when he wanted it.

He looked over at his alarm clock and sighed again. It was almost noon and he hadn't eaten one thing. It was a rare thing for him; he liked to have everything scheduled and organized, even his meals. Just as he was about to get out of his room, the door opened suddenly making him jump inside his shoes. He huffed as the younger one laughed at him.

'You really need to start knocking,' he reproved as he crossed his arms.

Taemin laughed some more. 'Oh come on, that wouldn't be as fun,' he said in a childish tone.

Kibum couldn't help but smile as the other's energy became contagious. He couldn't believe this boy was almost the same age as him. There was an innocence there that was quite disturbing.

'What's going on?' The brunette asked as he watched the other walk in. 

Taemin looked all around until his gaze stopped on the script he had left on his bed.

'Aaah... I was wondering why you hadn't come out of your room yet,' he put out as he looked back at him.

Kibum looked away. 'Yeah... I might be a little too obsessed with this audition,' he admitted after letting a few seconds of silence settle.

Taemin stepped closer to him. 'I understand, Bummie... but like you told me, you should at least take the time to eat.' He pulled on the taller one's shirt. 'Come,' he pressed as he dragged him out of his room.

Kibum's mouth dropped open when he saw what was on the table. His lips stretched out into a wide smile as he saw where it came from. 'Oh my god... this is exactly what I needed right now,' he voiced with much happiness as he walked over to the table.

'I ordered your favorite, the vanilla soy latte and a slice of gingerbread cake and...'

'And blueberries,' the older one completed as he took in their sight. This was his feel-good breakfast which he surprisingly hadn't had that many times since the other had moved in. He felt surprised but thankful that the other had remembered it.

'Thank you, Tae... thank you so much,' he repeated with utter gratefulness.

'That was the least I could do,' the younger one replied. 'I would've cooked for you but... you probably would've hated me for the rest of your life afterwards,' he added with a laugh.

'I'll just have to show you how to cook then,' Kibum settled. 'But for now, this is just perfect.'

He took a first bite of the cake and instantly hummed his contentment. It had been such a long time... And then he took a sip of his coffee and felt himself melt. He opened his eyes again after letting himself savor the moment. The other was now seated in front of him, his face shining with amusement.

'Aren't you eating too?' Kibum asked after throwing the empty bag at him.

Taemin chuckled. 'I've already eaten this morning. I might eat soon though...'

'Aaah,' Kibum acknowledged before he started chewing again.

'Do you have a class or something today?' the blonde verified a few seconds later.

'No... I was taking the day to practice the script,' he reminded.

'Why?' the brunette then added as he felt the other's disappointment.

'I was thinking that...' Taemin flexed his fingers nervously as he looked down to the table. 'That we could spend some time you know... together,' he finally got out.

Kibum felt his heart skip a beat. 'Why are you acting all shy about it?' He couldn't help but say as he felt the awkwardness install itself between them.

'Because I feel bad...' Taemin shared in a low voice.

'For?' Kibum sought.

'For not being around as much and not having fun with you like before,' he laid out as he now played with the bag.

'Well it was to be expected... I mean we're both busy...' Kibum pointed out, even though it had affected him more than he could admit.

'I still want to make it up to you. You gave me a place to live and you've been nothing but kind to me so... say what you want to do and we'll do it,' Taemin exclaimed affirmatively.

'Hmm... alright...' Kibum took a few seconds to think. 'Well actually... I've been wanting to do something lately... something I'm not really good at...' He shared with some embarrassment.

Taemin leaned forward, eager to hear more. 'What is it?' he voiced impatiently as the other stayed silent.

'I want to...' Kibum took a deep breath. 'I want to go ice skating,' he finally said as his shoulders dropped.

'Cooool, I love skating,' Taemin exclaimed joyfully. 'Why were you so reluctant to tell me?'

'You would know if you had seen me on ice before,' the brunette answered squarely. 'I was so embarrassed the last time I went...'

The images of him falling on his butt repeatedly lost no time to come back to him, his cheeks reddening simultaneously. If there was one thing he didn't like was to not be good at something.

'You should totally give it another chance,' Taemin encouraged. 'Don't worry, I'll help you,' he then reassured as he saw the ambivalence on the other's face.

Kibum suddenly questioned why he had brought it up. He had told himself many times before that he wouldn't go through that kind of humiliation again.

'I don't know...' he voiced, uneasy.

'Oh come on, you wouldn't have said it if you didn't really want to do it,' Taemin called out.

'Psssh...' Kibum crossed his arms, defeated. He went on to eat his cake and drink his coffee as if he hadn't said a word.

'Don't even try to abandon the idea. We're going,' Taemin reiterated categorically.

Kibum cocked an eyebrow at him. 'Wasn't I supposed to choose?'

'Yes, and you clearly made your choice,' the blonde threw back with a satisfied smile.

The brunette snorted. 'Whatever...'

'Finish your meal. I'll go change into something warmer,' the blonde indicated as he got up.

Kibum ate the rest of his meal with some unease. He couldn't get over how easily the other could get him to open up. He knew it wasn't much to mull over, but it was still disturbing to him. He wasn't one to let people in like that. Even less when it came to things he considered weaknesses. Any kind of sport had never been his forte and now he was going to challenge himself in front of the other.

_'You better not regret this for the rest of your life,' _he told himself before he got up too. Seeing that the other still had not reappeared, he walked to his room. Just like the latter had done earlier, he opened his door without warning.

He instantly turned away as he felt all the muscles in his body stiffen. He hadn't been ready for that view.

'I've been trying to find that one shirt for the last ten minutes and I can't find it anywhere,' Taemin explained as he went through the pile of clothes at the foot of his bed again.

Kibum could care less about his shirt. All he could see was that soft-looking skin and glimpses of his defined abs whenever he turned. It wasn't the first time he had seen him shirtless, but it never failed to strike him.

'Ah, found it!' The younger one exclaimed as he finally looked into his wardrobe. He pulled out a navy blue sweater and slid it on himself, making the other feel part relieved and part disappointed.

'Are you finished eating?' he then asked as he put his hands on his hips.

Kibum looked at him again. 'Yes...'

'Good. Let's go,' he uttered excitedly.

Kibum tried to take as much time as he could before they stepped out, but the other's excitement urged him on. He found himself walking fast on the sidewalks to keep up with the other. They had set the ice-skating rink not too far from their campus, so in the matter of minutes they were facing it. It was beautifully decorated. Blue and white lights had been hung up on the trees hovering it. They were also all around the rink, making the ice look bright and shiny. Despite that, Kibum still felt nervous. There was a considerable amount of people already skating. He despised the ease they displayed on the ice and the fun they seemed to have. He could only hope he'd be able to stand on his skates for a few seconds.

The blonde dragged him to the rental site where they got their hands on pairs of skates. Kibum put them on reluctantly, but by the time he had finished lacing them he felt a gust of courage fill him. _'You can do this,' he told himself a few times. _

Finally, they entered the rink. Kibum could already feel his legs wobble, but tried not to panic. He held onto the side, trying to slide one foot at a time. He could hear some laughter behind him, but didn't dare turn back to confront the other. He just had to keep focusing on each of his movements and maybe, just maybe, it would turn out less worse than the last time.

He watched as Taemin skated past him, twirling around as he picked up speed. The younger one went around a few times, while he was holding on to dear life, before he came back to him again.

'Sorry just wanted to see if I still had it,' the blonde shared with an apologetic smile.

Kibum would've hit him if he could. Instead, he tried to ignore him and looked right ahead. He tried to move a little further, but his balance failed him. He felt his body jerk backwards, but instead of hitting the ice, he fell into the other's arms.

Taemin lifted him back up, keeping a hold around his waist afterwards. 'It's okay, you're fine,' he reassured as he read the panic in the other's face. 'It does take time to get comfortable with skates.'

The brunette couldn't enjoy the attempts to comfort him. He felt totally stupid for not being able to at least advance while holding on to the edge. 'You can let go,' he voiced sharply as he suddenly felt the arm around him.

Taemin obeyed but stayed really close to him. 'Bend your knees a little and relax,' he advised as he saw the other's posture.

Kibum took a few deep breaths before he bent his knees slightly. He dared himself to move again, holding on to the edge like before. He managed to make it a little further, which soothed him just a little.

'Don't be so tense,' Taemin reproached with a laugh. 'Lean forward a bit now,' he went on as the older one kept moving.

'No, I'll fall,' Kibum objected instantly.

'No, it'll help,' Taemin countered right back.

Kibum finally turned his head to give him a dark look. Nonetheless, he followed his advice and started to feel a little more at ease with his movements. He covered quite some distance before realizing it and when he did, he couldn't help but smile.

'See? I knew you could do it!' Taemin cheered.

But their shared joy only lasted a few seconds. Kibum felt himself slip again and this time, the younger one had no chance to prevent the fall. The brunette cursed after the impact, but got himself up as soon as the other held his hands out to help him.

'At least I made it this far without falling,' he noted.

'Exactly,' Taemin acknowledged vigorously. 'Give me your hands,' he then said as he watched the other retrieve his previous stance.

'Are you crazy? That edge is the only thing keeping me from dying,' he dramatically remarked.

Taemin's shoulders shook with laughter. 'I saved you once too,' he reminded.

'Pssh...' Kibum wanted to ignore him, but he knew he couldn't. 'If I get hurt, Tae...'

'I know, I know... I'll regret it for the rest of my life,' he interjected derisively.

'Trust me,' Taemin put out earnestly as he held out his hands again.

Kibum didn't know if he should, but he wanted to. So he gave him his hands after moving very slowly. He felt himself panic as the other moved backwards to drag him forwards. He was moving a little faster than before and he hadn't been ready for that. But all it took was a few seconds for his heart to settle and let himself go with the flow. He didn't know how long they skated in sync, but he felt happy by the time he lost his balance again. This time, Taemin caught him by the waist, slamming him swiftly against the edge to keep him in place. There were only a few inches separating their faces, but it didn't seem to bother the younger one. He smiled.

'That was fun, wasn't it?' He said with utter joy.

Kibum felt his body get stiff again. 'More fun for you, I'm sure...' he replied defensively.

'I hope not, I wanted to make you happy...' Taemin said with a pout.

Kibum rolled his eyes despite feeling a sudden warmth overwhelm him.

'I did have some fun...' He finally admitted. 'Thanks for forcing me to try it again,' he continued openly.

'Any time,' Taemin bantered.

'So... we do have to get out now,' Kibum reminded as he noticed they were at the other side of the exit.

'I guess you'll have to follow my lead again,' he teased as he moved back.

'Just wait till we're not on the ice anymore...,' the older one menaced.

'Yah! Don't be mean. I bought you breakfast,' Taemin brought back in his defense.

Kibum laughed. 'You'll have to buy me dinner after all that strenuous effort.'

'Fine. I was getting hungry anyways.' Taemin held out his hands again. 'Let's go!'

Kibum let go of the edge, putting his trust once more into the other.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kibum stared at his smoothie as if something was about to come out of it.

'Are you alright?' the younger one asked as he put a hand on his.

The brunette looked at him, finally leaving his drink alone. 'Yes, why?'

'Well you're awfully quiet this morning...' Taemin noted as he let go of his hand.

Kibum faked a smile. 'Oh it's nothing, I'm fine... I guess I just didn't get enough sleep,' he justified.

Taemin cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. 'I probably would've believed you any other day, but not today,' he put out.

Kibum looked down to his glass again, feeling his stomach churn for the millionth time now. This wasn't like him to be so nervous. The knots in his stomach made him feel weak and the dryness in his mouth, uncomfortable. He just wanted to go back under his covers and let the day go by without him. But that wasn't even an option.

'You'll do just fine,' Taemin reassured with a smile.

Kibum wanted to trust those words so bad, but right now, nothing was coming through. He couldn't feel anything apart from the turmoil inside him. He took a few more sips of his drink before getting up. It was almost time. He went to the bathroom to clean up a bit before walking back to the dining table. There he picked up his bag before finally giving the other another look.

'I'll be back later,' he simply said right before he started to move towards the front door. But he stopped dead in his tracks as arms wrapped around him and held him into place. The strength of the hug was overwhelming but also comforting.

'You're amazing,' Taemin said against him.

Kibum felt his cheeks heat up. He was glad the other couldn't see his face. He was going through enough emotion as it was. When the blonde finally let go, he felt a little more relaxed.

'Thank you,' he uttered after turning his head towards him. And without further delay, he stepped out into the active world.

The streets were already busy with people, rushing this and that way. He, on the other hand, was walking quite slowly as if he had all the time in the world. In fact, he did have some time ahead of him; he had made sure to leave a little earlier to give himself some time to breathe. He tried to put into practice the breathing exercises he had learnt as he walked, but he couldn't keep a regular pace. The thought of the audition came back again and again, ruining his every effort to keep his cool. So instead, he tried to accept his current state.

_'It's okay to be nervous, it'll just help you perform better,' _he told himself repeatedly. There was indeed truth in that, but it didn't help how he felt. He wanted to enjoy himself as much as possible, but beyond everything else, he just wanted it to be over.

Half an hour later, he was facing the building his mind had been picturing all morning. He had passed it many times before, one day dreaming of being able to enter it. And now, the day had come. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open. There was a little booth placed a few feet from the entrance. He walked to it and smiled.

'Hi, my name is Kim Kibum. I'm here for the 11 o'clock audition,' he said as energetically as he could.

The woman behind the desk looked at her list and put a check beside his name. 'Okay, so you need to go up two floors. There are already people waiting in line for the play you're auditioning for, just wait behind them,' she explained before drawing out a sticker with a number on it. 'Oh and put this on your shirt before you get inside the room,' she added as she handed it to him.

The brunette took it and gave a quick look around. He moved past her as his eyes found the elevator. He pressed the button to his floor and waited until the doors closed. As he moved up, he felt excitement mix in with his nervousness.

_'I can do this,' _he finally told himself as he placed himself behind the long line of people already waiting.

He plugged his earphones in and let himself be immersed by the playlist he had created just for this moment. He needed all the good vibes on his side. As the songs went by, he stepped closer to the door, watching each and every one of them go in and get out. Some had a relieved expression on their faces, whilst others seemed like they were on the verge of dying. He tried not to let himself be fazed by the latter category.

_'You're amazing,' _he heard again in his mind. He couldn't help but smile at the other's words. He felt blessed to have such a comforting presence around him, but he also hated what that made him feel. He didn't like the lack of control he had on his emotions whenever he was around the other. He tried to distract himself with other thoughts until he finally got close to the door. He would finally be able to show them what he was made of. He put his earphones back into his bag and took off his coat before making sure the number on his shirt was visible.

The guy before him finally walked out. Kibum watched his face, but there wasn't much to read there. He took another deep breath before stepping in. There were four people seated behind a table. The rest of the room was empty, except for a camera on the far end of the room where a man stood. Kibum greeted them all with a bow before putting his things in a corner.

'What's your name?' one of the men behind the table asked.

'Kim Kibum,' he simply answered.

'Okay. Which part of the script are you going to interpret for us today?' the same one went on.

'The beginning of Act 4,' he replied accordingly.

'Okay, you can start,' the other indicated.

Kibum closed his eyes, shutting out everything besides the words that were about to cross his lips. He allowed himself a few seconds to mull them over before he finally looked at his audience again. The first words came out smoothly just as he had rehearsed them, giving him the push he needed to keep on. He felt his confidence grow as he went on, feeling the intensity of his lines and the emotions that they conveyed. He carried out his monologue just like he had intended to, even though he stumbled over his words near the end. But he didn't let that paralyze him. He used the shakiness inside him to give his final words the weight they needed.

He heard them clap as he stopped. Every ounce of stress in his body left him, leaving him light-headed and tired. He smiled weakly, waiting for them to speak.

'Thank you for your performance, Mr. Kim,' one of them signified when their hands fell back onto the table. 'We'll contact you if you're chosen for a role,' he then said.

Kibum bowed again and went to pick up his stuff. He left the room, giving all the others still waiting a look of encouragement. No matter what the result might be, he felt satisfied.

His first instinct as he stepped out was to call Taemin. His lips stretched out into a wide smile as he heard his phone ring, but it fell as he was directed to his voicemail.

_'He's probably at a dance practice,' _he thought as he started making his way back.

Without all the nervousness, the way back home went by much faster. Kibum could already see himself cuddled under his covers as he walked down his street. It took only a few more minutes before he was inside and making himself comfortable.

He started walking towards the kitchen but stopped in the middle of the way. His ears had just caught a weird sound. He waited and then the sounds came out clearer. His face turned a bright red as he slowly walked closer. He didn't want to believe what he was hearing, but that didn't stop him from being curious. Before he knew it, he was before his door, leaning in to confirm what was going through his mind.

'Aaaah,' he heard Taemin moan in a high-pitched voice. He felt his jeans get tighter. _'Is he...'_ He couldn't even finish his thought.

'Oh god... this feels so good...' A deeper voice groaned.

Kibum felt his heart stop. He stepped back as his mind became blank. His back hit a wall and it took him a moment to start moving again. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He walked back to the entrance to put on his coat and his boots. Without further thought, he took his bag and walked out, leaving with again, a heavy heart.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_‘So how did your audition go?’ The blonde asked cheerfully. _

_‘Fine,’ answered the brunette before he walked out of the living room. _

That was the last time they spoke before Kibum started playing a game of hide and seek. Whenever they were both home, he’d make sure to stay in his room and lock the door to prevent any surprise visits. Once or twice Taemin knocked, but getting no answer, he stopped trying. The rest of the time, the brunette would stay on campus as long as possible, getting out only when his brain menaced to explode. He did his best to keep himself occupied, but it was made difficult by the constant distractions his mind created for him. He couldn’t help obsessing over the thought of him. All throughout the day, he’d think about him and that would always bring up all the feelings of betrayal and hurt he couldn’t suppress. He knew he was probably overreacting, but there was something addicting to hating the other. He could just blame everything on him and take no responsibility. He would just let the other find a way to figure out what was going on. It was childish, but he had no will to be mature.

‘Heeey,’ a familiar voice yelled in his ear, making him jump slightly.

Kibum pushed his friend playfully. ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked with a smile.

He watched Jinki’s eyes disappear as he returned his smile. ‘Well you’ve been hiding from me, so I thought I’d try to find you. And as expected you’re right where I thought you’d be,’ he laid out.

‘Pfff… I could’ve been anywhere…’ he countered unconvincingly.

‘Well I’m glad I found you,’ Jinki said as he sat in front of him. ‘Are you drinking a soy latte?’ he asked as he looked at the other’s cup.

‘Of course,’ Kibum confirmed instantly. ‘I’m not changing that any time soon,’ he went on with a laugh.

Jinki joined in the laughter before his face turned serious again. ‘Seriously, Kibum… why have you been so quiet?’

The brunette looked down to his drink. ‘I’ve been busy, Jinki…’ He looked up again. ‘It’s not like I’ve been hearing from you either,’ he pointed out.

‘Yeah, I know… But you’re always the one texting me first… I guess I got used to that,’ he noted guiltily.

Kibum also felt guilty. It wasn’t like him to push his best friend away. He had always been open with him and now he didn’t know if he could be.

‘There’s something going on, huh?’ Jinki caught on as he leaned in.

‘Don’t you want to order something?’ the younger one averted with no subtlety.

Jinki cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. ‘You’re hiding things from me now?’ he reproached with obvious hurt.

‘No, I’m not…’ Kibum lied. He sighed as guilt hit him again. He was now doing the same thing he was holding against his roommate.

‘It’s complicated…’ He finally admitted. In truth, it wasn’t, but he couldn’t outright admit what was going on.

‘Oh really now...’ Jinki voiced with amusement. ‘What’s his name?’

Kibum felt his cheeks heat up again. ‘It’s not like that… it's just my roommate,’ he revealed with some embarrassment.

‘Oh right, you haven’t introduced us yet!’ Jinki realized. ‘But wait… what’s the problem?’

The brunette remained silent for a while, trying to figure out how to say it without saying too much. ‘He’s a really good roommate and all… it’s just I think he’s not telling me things…’ he finally said, feeling ridiculous as the words left him.

‘So?’ Jinki let out, confused.

Kibum sighed. He didn’t know what to say. Indeed, there was no real reason for drama here. But he couldn’t let it go. ‘Well… I mean we’re friends… kinda… and we live together so…’ he clumsily tried to explain.

‘Oh my god…’ Jinki exclaimed as his eyes widened. ‘Did you two fuck?’ he uttered excitedly.

Kibum choked on his saliva which pushed him right into a coughing fit. When he finally recovered, he gave the other a dark look. He didn’t need that kind of image in his mind right now.

‘No, we haven’t,’ he answered dryly.

‘Oh, okay… But would you like…’

‘Stop, right there,’ Kibum interjected with anger. ‘That is not the problem, Jinki.’

‘Well I hope you talk to him about it soon, because it really seems to be bothering you,’ the older one advised.

‘We’ll see…’ the younger one said without much thought. He didn’t want to consider that option just yet.

‘Are you sure there is nothing else?’ Jinki pressed with worry.

‘No, Jinki, stop worrying,’ Kibum tried to reassure. ‘Look, you’re right… I shouldn’t have been that silent… why don’t we spend the evening together?’ He proposed as the idea suddenly popped in his mind.

‘Yeah cool. Can we watch movies?’ The other asked with a wide smile.

‘Sure. I don’t know what movies are in theaters right now but-‘

‘No, no, no. Let’s stay in. I’ll meet you at yours later,’ Jinki settled as he started getting up.

‘What?’ The younger one exclaimed in panic. ‘No, let’s go to your place,’ Kibum threw back.

‘I think Jonghyun’s practicing with his band tonight. That won’t work out,’ the older one conveniently replied.

Kibum tried to find another plan, but he wasn’t quick enough.

‘I have to go, Bummie. I’ll be there at 7,’ Jinki informed right before rushing out.

Kibum sighed as his eyes closed. For the first time, he wished his best friend would have a last-minute impediment.

Kibum waited at the last minute to get back home. He gave every room a quick glance and felt relieved as the other was nowhere to be found. He was hoping it was one of his nights out for practice or for whatever he was actually doing in those times.

_‘Probably seeing that guy,’ _he couldn’t help but think. Once again, he secretly wished he had seen that man’s face so he could put one more face on his hatred. But it was probably best to have as little detail on the latter as possible. He could even pretend it had all been a dream.

He put in some music on his stereo as he started cleaning up a little. The music filled his ears which helped ease him. He caught himself dancing around the living room and the kitchen as his mind felt freer. Just as he was bending down to pick up a cloth that had fallen to the floor, he was startled by the sound of steps behind him. He straightened but didn’t look back.

‘Bummie…’ Taemin softly called.

The brunette shivered. He didn’t like how the other said his name. He turned around, anticipating what was about to come. He felt his heart pick up pace as his eyes fell on the other's face. ‘Yes?’ he sought matter-of-factly.

‘What are you doing?’ The blonde casually asked.

‘Just cleaning around…’ Kibum answered nonchalantly as he went back to putting some other stuff in order.

‘Okay…’ Taemin rubbed the back of his neck as he watched the other ignore him. ‘Can I help?’ he offered despite that.

Kibum halted. ‘I’m almost done,’ he indicated dryly before moving past him. But he was held in place by a grip on his arm.

‘Can we talk?’ Taemin finally asked as he realized there was no use beating around the bush.

‘About what?’ Kibum retorted dishonestly.

Taemin stared at him for a while, making him more than uncomfortable. Finally, he pulled him by the arm until they were in front of the couch. He dragged him down to sit as he did the same. 

‘I don’t want to play games anymore, Kibum,’ Taemin started firmly. ‘I know you’ve been avoiding me and I can’t stand it,’ he finished in the same tone.

Kibum blinked of surprise. He knew he hadn’t been really subtle, but he hadn’t expected to be confronted so openly.

‘I’ve just been very busy,’ he maintained.

Taemin rolled his eyes. ‘Bummie… I don’t want to fight,’ he uttered with weariness.

Kibum could feel his despair. He felt guilty for it. ‘I don’t want to fight either,’ he echoed just the same.

‘Well why don’t you tell me what’s going on?’ Taemin pressed.

The brunette looked down to his now intertwined fingers just to avoid the other’s gaze. He felt shame for his actions and feelings. ‘I… I thought we could be honest with each other…’ he finally said.

Taemin frowned in confusion. ‘Well of course…’ 

‘So I guess telling me you had a boyfriend was on your list of things to do,’ Kibum scoffed.

The same expression reappeared on the younger one’s face. ‘What?’

‘Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I heard noises in your room the other day and…’ He paused as the memory became clear in his mind. He kept his gaze on the other, watching as his face turned bright red.

‘Oh yeah…’ Taemin simply uttered. ‘It’s new…,’ he continued shyly. ‘I didn’t really want to talk about it until I felt it was serious,’ he then filled in as he came back to a more normal shade.

‘I see…’ Kibum made a move to get up, but Taemin held him again.

‘Are you still mad?’ the younger one verified with worry.

‘No…’ Kibum answered unconvincingly. ‘I understand why you didn’t tell me now,’ he reassured nonetheless.

Despite everything that had been said, neither of them felt relieved. Not knowing what to say, Taemin let go of him. Kibum then slowly walked away, trying to get his mind right. But just as he was processing all of it, he suddenly turned back.

‘I’d prefer you give me a heads up whenever you plan to have him over,’ he indicated as he felt his chest squeeze.

‘That won’t happen again…’ Taemin informed with certainty.

Kibum gave him an intent look before turning around again. Right at that moment, the doorbell rang. His heart started beating faster as he remembered his friend. He walked up to the door and opened it.

‘Heeey,’ Jinki uttered in his cheery voice.

He stepped in and instantly met eyes with the blonde. ‘Oh… hello,’ he greeted with a bow.

Taemin got up to do the same. ‘Hi, I’m Taemin,’ he said with a smile.

‘I’m Jinki,’ the other returned equally.

‘Aaaah, glad to finally meet you. Kibum talks about you a lot,’ Taemin shared.

The brunette gave the younger one a dark look before turning back to his friend. ‘Make yourself comfortable, I’ll start making the popcorn,’ he informed.

Jinki took off his coat, scarf and boots and went to join Taemin. ‘I brought candy,’ he said loudly so his friend could hear.

‘Good,’ Kibum acknowledged before looking into a cupboard.

‘What are you guys doing?’ Taemin inquired as he looked at Jinki.

‘We're going to watch movies,’ Jinki answered joyfully. ‘Are you joining us?’ he then asked knowingly.

Kibum shot him a deadly look from afar, but didn’t say a word.

‘I’d love to!’ Taemin exclaimed with excitement. ‘Well, if you don’t mind…’ he then softly added.

‘Of course not,’ Jinki reassured with a wide smile. ‘Do you like comedies?’

‘To be honest, I don’t really watch movies, but I do love to laugh,’ he replied with a snicker.

Jinki shifted on the couch to face the other even more. ‘He’s not making you suffer too much I hope,’ he whispered.

‘No… not at all,’ Taemin refuted instantly.

‘It’s fine, you don’t have to tell me…’ Jinki put out with a wink. ‘It’s just that he can be sensitive at times,’ he continued.

‘Yeah…’ Taemin acknowledged. ‘But I like that about him…’ He looked down as he realized his words. ‘I... I mean ... we get along well.’

‘Good,’ Jinki said just as the other finally joined them with a big bowl of popcorn.

Kibum walked over to the television to take the remote. ‘I think we’ll be able to find something on Netflix…’ he indicated as he turned it on.

He then made his way to the couch with the intent of sitting beside Jinki, but the latter moved to leave space in the middle. Kibum felt the anger inside him rise, but he managed to conceal it and act like everything was normal.

It took a few minutes of browsing through the selection and arguing for them to settle on a choice. The movie finally started and they fell silent. They all lost no time to put some popcorn into their mouths, but apart from that they stayed focused on what was happening on the screen. After a while, both Jinki and Taemin shared some laughter, but Kibum remained silent. He just couldn’t get into the movie. Not with the other one being so close. He could feel him move beside him and that was enough to leave him distraught. At one point, he caught himself laughing, but his laughter died out as the other’s phone rang.

Taemin looked at his screen and his expression turned dark. After a few seconds, he got up.

‘I’m sorry, guys…. I have to go,’ he said with much guilt.

‘Aaaw, why?’ Jinki inquired despite him.

‘I’ve got practice,’ Taemin answered. He then gave Kibum an apologetic look before he walked away.

The brunette put the movie on pause, until the front door opened and closed again. He was in no mood to keep watching the movie now.

‘Yah! Don’t be so upset. I’m still here,’ Jinki reminded as he put an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

Kibum grabbed more popcorn and chewed. He was in no mood to talk either.

‘You love him, don’t you?’ Jinki uttered knowingly.

Kibum kept chewing. He had never stopped to think about it, but he didn’t feel like he could refute it.

‘I think he likes you,’ Jinki pursued.

The younger one gave him a sharp look. ‘Don’t talk about things you don’t know.’

‘I’m not just saying that, Bummie… I felt something,’ the older one persisted.

‘He has a boyfriend,’ Kibum countered. ‘And he probably just lied to my face again and gone to see him,’ he expressed with palpable anger.

‘Wow… that sucks…,’ Jinki uttered with a saddened expression. ‘But I think that you should tell him how you feel. That would at least help you move on,’ he observed.

‘I don’t know how I feel, Jinki,’ Kibum snapped as he pushed his arm away.

Jinki sighed. ‘You do,’ he insisted.

Kibum crossed his arms in defeat. He wanted nothing more than to be with the blonde right now. But he didn’t know if he could ever tell him.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kibum felt like his arm getting numb as he persisted to stay on his side. He looked at his alarm clock. It was already one in the afternoon. Staying in bed that long was unlike him, but he just couldn't find the strength to get up. He just wanted to lie there and not care about anything as he had failed to do the last few weeks. He could still see himself checking outside the living room window to see when the other would get back home. That habit had stopped only a few days ago when he had finally decided to gain back some dignity. As much as he wanted to keep track of the other's comings and goings, he couldn't let his sleep and his life be controlled by his need to know. He would never know the full story and in truth, he didn't really want to. He just wanted to have Taemin around like before, even if they couldn't be...

He tossed and turned for the millionth time. Jinki was right. He was probably in too deep. He was probably feeling things he had never felt before for another. But he couldn't fully accept it. Whenever the thought ran through his mind, he shook his head and started moving, trying to find any distraction he could. Unlike right now. Right now, he was trapped in those thoughts. The only thing he could manage to do was to not show that he cared. That he didn't care when the other would get home and that he would waste no time looking at him to show his worry and anger. He would just stay there and elude him in their apartment as if he couldn't care less about his existence. He knew he was being petty as fuck, but he wouldn't stop himself from being that way. If the other couldn't let him in more, he would shut off completely.

He finally looked up to the ceiling, releasing his arm from its numbness. He needed someone right now, He needed someone to touch him, kiss him, make him feel alive. He needed someone to help him forget what his mind and heart were screaming for... His hand slid into his pyjamas pants where his delicate fingers met with the hardness of his cock. He wrapped them around his already throbbing erection as his lids fluttered over his eyes. The desire blooming inside him spread through his whole body, making him tense all over. He could see the other now, standing vulnerable before his eyes. He hissed as his hand started moving, painfully exacerbating his tension. He could see the other's face flush as he tried to conceal his own desire. He could see himself bringing him close to take care of him, to love him in all the ways he wanted to. He could see all those things as he gave himself numerous strokes, until his hand was drenched with a liquid warmth.

His chest heaved as he cleaned himself up with some tissue. He looked at the alarm clock. 1:15. He couldn't stay in bed anymore. His thoughts would get the best of him if he didn't move. So he moved and made it to the bathroom. He gave himself a look of disgust as he noted the paleness of his face and the darkness of the circles under his eyes. He knew hot water would take care of some of the disgust he felt. It greeted him a moment later as he stepped into the shower and felt his whole body relax. He hummed his contentment as he let his hands run through his wet hair and then over his soft skin, leaving him somewhat peaceful. And suddenly, he was pulled back into his bundle of emotions as he heard the door open.

'Bummie...' he heard through the water streaming.

He was tempted not to answer, but he figured he'd be gone faster if he did.

'Yes?' he answered as he felt his heart beat faster.

'I brought us some food,' the younger one said as he stepped in. He held onto the knob as if he feared the other's reaction.

'I'm not hungry,' Kibum dryly said as he grabbed the soap.

'Oh...' Taemin felt his chest squeeze. He was desperate for an opportunity to talk. He couldn't be denied it. 'Well maybe you'll be hungry after your shower... I'll be waiting at the dinner table,' he indicated right before walking out.

Kibum sighed as he heard the door close. He didn't know what any of that was about, but he was curious to find out. He didn't want to care, but he still wanted to see him. He went much faster about his shower than he usually would as his anticipation grew. He picked out a casual outfit as he reached his room and combed through his damp hair, leaving him looking fresh and clean. Finally, he reached the other who became alert at his sight.

'I was walking by a ramen shop and thought it'd be nice to bring some back,' the blonde exposed as he looked at him.

The older one looked right back at him. 'You didn't have to do that, we have plenty of food in the fridge,' he reproved as he sat down.

Taemin looked down, embarrassed. Unsure what to say, he grabbed his chopsticks and played with them.

'I thought it'd be nice...' he repeated after clearing his throat.

'What exactly would be nice?' Kibum sought as he felt himself grow angrier.

'To eat together... to spend time together,' Taemin admitted as his gaze was still directed downwards.

Kibum felt his heart skip a beat. He knew those words were dangerous for him so he tried not to let them stick. He picked up his chopsticks. He plunged them into the still hot bowl and waited.

'So did you get a call for that audition?' Taemin suddenly asked.

'Yeah, I did... I have a role,' he answered uncomfortably. He knew the other was trying to make small talk, but he didn't know if he could.

'Congratulations,' Taemin exclaimed with a smile. 'I'm happy for you.'

Kibum had been happy too when he first had gotten the news, but now he couldn't relive that emotion. He suddenly felt hatred for the younger one. 'You don't need to pretend like you care,' he put out coldly.

Taemin stilled, his body tensing with hurt. 'Why do you say that?' he uttered in a shaky voice.

'Well it's not like you've been really there to check up on me,' Kibum retorted. 'But it's fine,' he continued with a little laugh. 'I'm busy too so it's not like I care either,' he piqued intently.

Taemin searched the other's face to find what was hiding behind those words, but he couldn't find anything other than anger.

'I do care, Kibum,' he refuted firmly. 'I care and you know it,' he stressed with frustration.

'Well you don't need to. We're only roommates,' Kibum kept on in the same tone. He was intent on not letting him in.

'Only roommates?' Taemin echoed with now blatant anger. 'I thought we were friends,' he noted loud and clear.

'Are we?' Kibum threw back intently. 'I don't know if I feel that anymore,' he continued openly after letting it sink in, despite his mind screaming him not to.

He saw Taemin's mouth drop open, but before he could see more, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out.

'Yes?' he answered instantly.

'What are you doing right now?' Jinki said at the other end.

'I'm not doing anything right now. We can talk,' he said purposely as he locked eyes with the younger one.

He saw him rise, making him instinctively hold his breath. Taemin grabbed his bowl and chopsticks and after giving him a long infuriated look, he walked away.

Kibum felt his heart thrum in his ears, making him deaf to the other's voice.

'Kibum? Hello? Hellooo?' Jinki called out loudly.

The brunette came back to himself after a few more seconds, finally hearing his friend calling his name.

'Jinki...' he voiced gravely.

'Finally! Why weren't you answering?'

'Jinki...' he repeated in the same tone. 'I think I just messed up... really bad.'


	2. Part II.

'Seems like you hurt him pretty bad,' Jinki noted as he stared at his friend's saddened face.

'I did hurt him, but...' He sighed. 'That's no reason to not come home for three days and offer no apology afterwards,' he finished with signs of distraught in his voice.

'Well you did tell him that you weren't friends anymore...' Jinki pointed out carefully.

Kibum gave him the dark look he had been expecting. 'We're still living together. He could've sent a text or something just to let me know.'

'Kibum...' Jinki uttered firmly. 'He tried to make things right and you pushed him away. It's understandable that he wouldn't have been very comfortable being around you afterwards,' the other laid out to get some sense into his friend's mind.

Kibum pouted. He knew Jinki was right. Again. He had messed up and he wanted nothing more than to fix things.

'I don't know why I acted that way... I was horrible,' the brunette admitted.

'Well... I think it's normal to say and do stupid things when we're in love,' Jinki reassured.

The younger one pondered those words for a moment. 'How can I fix this?' he asked with despair.

Jinki gave him an annoyed look. He couldn't believe he had to state the obvious again. 'Just talk to him!' he said vehemently.

'Riiight...' Kibum looked down to his hands. 'If he hasn't left again...' he then added.

'It doesn't matter. He'll show up at some point. And when he does, you need to talk to him,' his best friend pressed.

'I know, I know...' Kibum got up. 'I'll tell you how it goes,' he uttered before stepping out of the café.

He walked out in the cold, taking small steps not to fall, but also not to reach his destination. He was afraid he had forever ruined any relation they had had. The thought drove him crazy. He couldn't stand the distance between them anymore. He couldn't stand that it was now Taemin's turn to show that he did not care. But mostly, he couldn't stand that it was all his fault. That he had let his emotions rule him and make him forget about the other's feelings. As he had waited with worry for the other to show up a few days back, he had replayed their time together at the ice-skating rink. He wanted moments like these in his life again.

As he got closer and closer to their apartment, he prayed that the other would be there. He prayed, despite feeling fear squeeze his intestines. He was almost there, only a few more steps... He finally took out his keys and stepped inside. He saw the other's boots in the entrance and felt relieved. After taking off his outerwear, he walked straight to the latter's room. He heard some music and stomping inside, but he knocked nonetheless. The noise went on as he got no answer. He knocked louder and waited. Still no response. He took a deep breath.

_'We need to talk,'_ he reminded himself as he was about to give up.

Finally, he opened the door and saw Taemin swirl right before freezing in front of him. He walked to his laptop and stopped the music. Kibum couldn't help but let his eyes linger on the sheen of sweat that covered the other's face, neck and toned arms as the latter looked at him again. As if he knew, he took a towel he had left nearby and cleaned up with it.

'What?' the blonde finally answered dryly.

'I....' Kibum lost his trail of thoughts. He was still mesmerized by the younger one's body in that tank top. The thoughts that emerged from that sight made his whole body tense, but he tried to keep himself together.

'I know you've been avoiding me, but-'

'No,' Taemin interjected. 'I've just been busy,' he rectified conveniently.

'Okay...' Kibum accepted despite his disbelief. 'Still, I wanted to apologize for the other day,' he lost no time to say. He knew it was now or never and he wasn't planning on wasting his chance.

'No need to, I understand you were just being honest,' Taemin countered as he crossed his arms over his chest. 'Is that all?' he sharply asked. 

'Taemin, please... don't be like this...' Kibum pleaded as he felt the hurt he had probably inflicted on the other not too long ago.

'Don't be like what?' The blonde threw back. 'You made it clear that we weren't friends,' he reminded spitefully.

'I didn't mean that, Tae...' Kibum admitted in a soft voice. 'I didn't mean anything I said,' he reaffirmed as he started taking a few more steps in his direction.

'So what now? Am I just supposed to accept your apology and act like nothing happened?' Taemin snarled.

Kibum stared at him, once again distraught. He was suddenly realizing how much the other cared and how much he had hurt him. He kept on walking to close more distance between them, until they were only a few inches apart.

'I'm sorry,' were the brunette's only words before he leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was awkward at first, but they soon found the right angle to release some tension. Kibum slid his tongue into the smaller one's mouth, relishing its softness and the moan that ensued. He pushed the blonde onto his bed, momentarily giving them space to breathe, only to claim his lips again as he settled on top of him. He kissed him hungrily, desperately; happy that he wasn't being pushed away. The other's hand settled at the back of his neck as he offered his mouth eagerly. For a few more seconds, the only thing that could be heard in the room were soft smacking sounds and moaning. But it stopped as Taemin finally pushed him away.

'I can't...' he breathed against him.

Kibum sighed. 'I know. You have a boyfriend,' he gathered as he rolled off him.

It was Taemin's turn to sigh. 'No, I don't...' He said as he looked at the ceiling.

'You don't?' Kibum exclaimed as he looked back at him.

'I don't...' Taemin repeated softly. He straightened and placed himself at the edge of his bed, right beside him. 'I... I want to be honest with you... I always wanted to be, but... I didn't want you to hate me,' he shared with guilt.

'Why would I hate you?' Kibum sought with surprise.

'Well you were already so angry with me... But I don't blame you... I was angry with myself too...' Taemin bit his lip. 'I like you a lot, Kibum,' he continued as he looked straight into his eyes. 'I've been feeling it for a long time and I thought I could never tell you,' he went on.

Kibum was now feeling his heart beat so fast he was afraid it would stop at any moment. 'Same here...' he said after clearing his throat.

'That makes me beyond happy, but I... we can't...' Taemin buried his face into his hands as he felt sorrow overwhelm him.

'Why?' Kibum asked as he put a hand on his back. He caressed it soothingly, feeling a certain calm spread through him as they shared a closeness he had been longing for.

'Because I'm a liar...' Taemin managed to utter through his sadness. The tears rolled down his cheeks, rendering him silent for the minutes to follow.

Kibum felt some panic rise inside him. 'Who was that guy I heard you with then?' he questioned pressingly.

Taemin cleared his sight with the back of his hand, trying to regain some composure for what was about to come.

'He was one of my clients,' he admitted in a croaky voice.

Kibum's eyes widened. 'What?' He let out, shocked.

'What do you mean?' he then sought as he failed to understand.

'I mean that I sleep with men for money,' Taemin answered as he felt shame squeeze his throat.

'What?' Kibum now yelled as he got up. He tried to even his breathing with a few deep breaths as his chest heaved.

'Are you serious?' he verified in a calmer tone.

'Yes, I am...' Taemin said as his head felt heavy. 'Kibum...' He pleaded with a desperate look. 'I wanted to quit as soon as we started to get closer...' He shared as he got up too.

'I'm working on getting out of it as soon as I can...' He continued as he tried to capture his gaze. 

Kibum finally looked at him, but this time with eyes dark with resentment. 'So that's why you kept leaving late at night?

Taemin nodded, looking down again.

'Have you ever been honest with me?' Kibum voiced angrily. 'Do you even have a dance crew? Do you even go to university?' He snapped as his anger seeped freely out of him.

'Yes, I do. I didn't lie about those things. I did have practices at times,' Taemin replied defensively.

'Oh well, glad you have interests other than being a whore,' the older one scoffed spitefully.

'Kibum...' Taemin's voice cracked as tears filled his eyes again. 'That's not fair...' he croaked as he let himself fall on his bed.

'You don't get to decide what's fair and what's not. You lied,' Kibum stated categorically.

He watched as Taemin kept crying. Part of him felt horrible, but the other part felt satisfied. 'I don't think we can live together anymore,' he uttered squarely.

'Kibum, please...' Taemin pleaded again.

'I'll stay at Jinki's for a few days. When I come back, I want you gone,' he said without a second thought.

The other's sobs accompanied him until he opened the door. But he didn't look back; he walked out and slammed the door shut.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kibum tossed and turned for the millionth time, again. This had been the third night in a row he hadn't been able to find any peace. He was filled with regret, resentment and hurt, but mostly, he was filled with want. He wanted to see the other despite everything. He wanted to take him in his arms and never let go. He felt pathetic for it. He felt ridiculous for wanting someone who could never really be his. He didn't know what had brought the younger one to that lifestyle, but he couldn't help but think that there was a part of him that enjoyed it. That he enjoyed having men require such service out of him. That thought kept nagging at him and making him furious. And just now, that thought came back again. He straightened up on the couch, realizing there wasn't any chance for him to get some sleep.

He walked up to the kitchen and picked up his phone that he had left on the counter. He had promised himself to not turn it on for some time, but now that he had let a few days pass, he felt like he could break that promise. He watched as the light appeared on his device and showed him the notifications he had missed. He looked through his texts, but there was none from the blonde. Finally, he went on to listen to the voicemail that showed up at the corner. His chest squeezed as he heard the other's voice.

_'I took all my stuff,' _it started. He then heard heavy breathing. _'I'm so sorry, Kibum... goodbye...' _

Kibum let his phone drop against the wooden structure. He suddenly felt an incredible wave of sadness take over, which paralyzed him for a while. He could barely breathe through it, until he gasped from the hand that suddenly settled on his shoulder. He turned around and saw his best friend.

'What are you doing up?' the brunette asked.

'I couldn't sleep... I was worried about you,' Jinki shared.

'You shouldn't be... I'm fine,' Kibum blatantly lied. 

'Don't even try, Kibum,' the older one countered. 'Are you finally going to tell me what happened between you two?'

Kibum sighed. He had persisted on keeping their last encounter a secret, but he knew he owed the one who had graciously taken him in an explanation.

The brunette moved back to the living room and sat on the couch, knowing very well that Jinki would follow. Which the latter did, settling himself right before him, eager to hear what had caused their fight.

'I kissed him...' Kibum said under his breath. He could barely tolerate the memory as it vividly came back to him.

Jinki waited for his friend to continue, but he could sense how hard it was for him. 'Oh... he didn't reciprocate?' he guessed.

Kibum snorted with laughter. 'Actually, he did...'

Jinki cocked an eyebrow, failing to understand. 'So what's the problem?'

'The problem is the numerous men he opens his legs to,' Kibum harshly put out.

The older one's mouth fell open, his surprise blatant on his features. 'What?'

'That's right... He's a whore,' the brunette reiterated, feeling his anger bloom inside him as he mulled over the thought.

'A whore like...'

'A real whore. He gets paid to have sex or whatever it is that he's asked to do,' Kibum specified with the same harshness in his voice.

'Oh...' Jinki paused, his mind trying to process the news. 'But... did he tell you why he has to do that?' he then asked.

'No, but it doesn't matter,' Kibum dismissed as he crossed his arms.

'It does, Bummie. You don't even know his circumstances, maybe he-'

'Maybe what? Maybe he has a good reason?' Kibum interjected. 'I doubt that.'

'You're just saying that because you're angry, but you should've given him a chance to explain,' Jinki observed.

'Are you really taking his side?' Kibum asked in high-pitched tone that gave out his disbelief.

'I'm just trying to help you figure this out. Think about it. Would you stop being my friend if I started having sex with men for money?' he inquired purposely.

Kibum's jaw clenched as he gritted his teeth. He already knew what his answer was meant to accomplish. Make him realize he had made a mistake.

'So?' Jinki insisted as the other didn't say a word.

'No, I wouldn't stop being your friend,' the brunette finally answered despite his want to hold a grudge.

'See? You're only hating him for that because you want him. And that's totally normal, but you should give him another chance to explain. Maybe he doesn't even want to do that anymore...' Jinki kept on.

Kibum hated his friend for being such a great voice of reason. 'He did say he was working on getting out of the business...' he shared as he felt a little embarrassed by his previous behaviour.

'Well seems like all that's left to do is...' Jinki started, waiting for the other to finish his thought.

Kibum pouted again. 'Maybe he's lying...' he persisted.

'Well there's only one way to figure it out,' Jinki urged.

A sigh left the younger one's lips as he closed his eyes. 'I hate you...'

'I hate you too,' Jinki echoed with a smile. 'That's why I want you to get out of my apartment by tomorrow morning,' he half-joked.

Kibum threw the pillow that was beside him at his friend's face. 'You're such a jerk...'

'I know, but it's for your own good,' the older one noted as he got up. 'Try to get some sleep,' he advised before leaning down to plant a kiss on his friend's forehead.

Kibum felt his heart settle a little at the gesture. He probably wouldn't get any more sleep, but at least his mind was much clearer now.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, he was back home, inhaling its familiarity as he walked in. But he could instantly feel the difference. The other’s absence was palpable as he felt the emptiness that his now gone stuff had left behind. He suddenly felt nauseous as he heard the other’s message in his mind again. He could only wish it wasn’t too late. He just wanted to see him again, as he had wanted countless times the last few weeks. He felt pathetic for being so needy.

He put down the bags he had dragged with him on his way back home and let out a resonant sigh. He knew what he had to do, but he dreaded it. Despite that, he took his phone and let himself drop on his couch. He pressed on his number quickly, not wanting to let his fear get to him, and waited. His anticipation grew as he didn’t get an answer, before disappointment crashed over him as he was directed to the other’s voicemail. He cursed as he put his phone down. Now he was back to square one. Once again, he wasn’t sure what to do. Should he try calling again right away? Wait a few hours? A few days? Or not call back at all?

He knew he wouldn’t be able to stick to the last option so his mind just mulled over how much patience he could muster before he cracked. Fortunately, he didn’t have to figure it out as his phone rang and he recognized the other’s number.

‘Taemin?’ he answered eagerly.

‘Yes,’ the blonde replied curtly.

‘Where are you right now?’ the brunette inquired as the thought of meeting him crossed his mind.

‘I’m at school,’ Taemin answered squarely.

‘Oh…’ Kibum suddenly felt uncomfortable. ‘Are you… are you going to class?’ he carefully asked.

‘No, I’m just going to grab something to eat before I head to practice,’ he outlined for the other.

‘Hmm, okay…’ Kibum acknowledged as his mind raced to figure out his next move.

‘Why did you call, Kibum?’ Taemin asked straightforwardly.

The older one cleared his throat as he felt his heart beat faster. ‘I… I… where are you staying right now?’ he diverted as he felt his courage leave him.

‘Why would you want to know that?’ the younger one threw back sharply.

‘I… I just want to make sure you’re okay…’ Kibum explained as he purposely left out his need to satisfy his curiosity.

‘I’m okay,’ Taemin said, his tone unchanging. ‘Why did you really call, Kibum?’ he then pressed.

‘I need to see you,’ Kibum finally admitted after letting a few seconds of silence sink in.

Taemin felt his chest heave. ‘Why?’ he further sought.

‘Because I don’t want things to end on a bad note,’ the brunette caught himself saying despite not wanting things to end at all.

‘Well, I don’t see what more there is to say…’ Taemin pointed out with obvious sadness in his voice.

Kibum sighed. ‘We need to talk, Tae,’ he affirmed categorically. ‘Do you want to meet up now or later?’

Taemin searched through his thoughts. ‘Later, I’ll come by after practice,’ he informed before hanging up.

Kibum felt his heart ease a little as he hung up too. They’d at least get another chance to talk. That was all that mattered right now. 

He got up and went on to clean himself up a bit. He then put on some cozy clothes to make himself feel a little better before moving to the kitchen. He hadn’t cooked in so long, but now it felt just like the right time to do so. He looked into his fridge and felt his sudden impulse die. There wasn’t much in there, apart from some lettuce and some drinks. He silently scolded himself before letting his back rest against the counter. His eyes fell on the papers that had been left on the dining table. He stepped closer and picked up a flyer from a pizza place. He who almost never ate that kind of stuff suddenly had an appetite for it. He dialled their number and placed his order, remembering from a past conversation that Taemin loved his pizza with lots of olives.

Now, he only had to wait for the delivery and for his chance. As expected, first came the food. He brought himself to put plates and cups on the table just to kill some time. Then, he turned on the TV, but he had no mind to focus on the show that was playing. It felt like an eternity before the doorbell rung and at that moment, he sprung to his feet as if he had had a full night’s sleep.

He rushed over to the front door and opened it vigorously. He felt his heart skip a beat as his eyes took in the other’s beautiful features. He stepped back to let the latter in, watching him undress before he followed him further into their once shared apartment.

‘So how was practice?’ Kibum asked matter-of-factly as they halted in the living room.

‘It was alright… quite tiring, to be honest,’ Taemin admitted as he tried not to sound too weary.

‘Well I did think you might be hungry after all that training so I ordered pizza,’ the older one indicated as he started walking towards the table. He heard the other’s footsteps echo his.

‘I am hungry…’ Taemin uttered as he seated himself.

Kibum did the same. He let the other take a slice before he took one for himself. He started chewing, humming his contentment as his hunger was finally being satiated.

‘You remembered…’ Taemin uttered through a mouthful of pizza.

‘What?’ Kibum asked in confusion.

‘About the olives,’ the blonde replied before taking another bite.

‘Of course I remembered…’ Kibum confirmed as he felt contented.

Their next bites were taken in shared silence until they both felt like they couldn’t eat anymore.

‘Thank you,’ Taemin said as he leaned back against his chair.

‘You’re welcome,’ Kibum replied accordingly.

‘I’m kinda confused…’ Taemin then voiced as he looked straight at him.

‘About?’ Kibum asked, half-knowing.

‘About why you’d treat me to pizza when you wanted me out of your life a few days ago,’ the blonde blatantly put out.

Kibum bit on his lip as he looked down. ‘I made a mistake,’ he voiced instantly. ‘I should’ve given you a chance to explain…’ he went on with surging guilt.

‘Aaah, I see…’ The younger one got up. ‘I doubt any explanation will satisfy you…’ he uttered coldly before he started moving away.

But a hand on his arm held him in place. Kibum wasted no time to move up and face him. ‘To be honest, it doesn’t even matter anymore…’ He leaned closer, locking eyes with the smaller one. He could feel his warm breath on his skin now, which only made the warmth of his body increase. He finally allowed himself to capture the other’s soft lips, instantly being rewarded with a subtle moan. He felt his hunger rise, urging him to slide his tongue inside the other’s mouth. He relished its softness a few more seconds before a grunt left his own mouth.

Taemin’s hand was cupping his hardening bulge, letting it slowly slide up and down the fabric of his sweatpants. He couldn’t help the devious smile he had tried to keep in previously as the other’s eyes closed and his lips parted. The sounds he made only enjoined the younger one to pursue his sweet torture. He swiftly pushed his hand inside the taller one’s briefs, sighing as he met his already swollen cock.

‘That’s why you wanted to see me, right?’ Taemin half-asked, half-guessed as he pressed his plump lips against the other’s ear, never stopping his caresses along the other’s now rock-hard shaft.

Kibum groaned as he leaned into the other’s touch, his knuckles turning white as he held on to the other’s strong shoulders. ‘Tae…’ he breathed softly, unable to formulate a thought in his lust-filled mind. He hissed as the other’s thumb slid across his slit, spreading the beads of white fluid already oozing, all over the head of his erect cock. ‘Tae, stop… it’s too much…’ He whined. His legs were already shaking as he felt his pleasure grow in his stomach. He knew it wouldn’t be long if the other kept teasing him. He was that sensitive right now.

‘You’re right.’ The blonde stopped. ‘I wouldn’t want you to cum right now,’ he conceded as he freed the other’s member from his debilitating hold.

Kibum’s lips parted in disbelief. He couldn’t believe the other would leave him hanging like that, just as he was about find release. ‘That’s not what I meant,’ he voiced with inconcealable frustration.

‘I know,’ Taemin acknowledged as he stepped back. ‘I just want to hear you say that you’re sorry first,’ he continued with a smirk.

The brunette’s jaw dropped even more, before he closed his mouth shut. Crossing his arms, he gave the other a dark look. ‘Really?’

‘Really. You did kick me out quite brutally,’ Taemin reminded as he adopted the other’s stance.

‘I can’t believe you…’ Kibum snorted.

‘So you’re not sorry?’ Taemin let out in a tone betraying indignation.

The other frowned. 'You did lie to me,' he threw right back.

'I already apologized for that...' Taemin countered before his lips curled into a pout.

Kibum waited for the other to go on nonetheless, but he got no answer. A sigh left his lips as he felt his frustration grow.

'I am sorry for throwing you out. But that wasn't easy to swallow,' he added defensively.

Taemin snickered before he burst out laughing, his shoulders shaking. 'Hmm, that's a way to put it,' he bantered.

The brunette was tempted to throw a pillow at him, but he couldn't help but join into the laughter.

'You're so immature,' he finally uttered as he shook his head.

'Not too immature for you I hope,' the other half-joked, half-sought.

'No...' Kibum uttered lowly as he saw the other make his way smoothly towards him.

The blonde stopped right in front of him. 'I'm really sorry I lied to you,' he voiced firmly as he brought a hand to his cheek.

The taller one couldn't help the flutter of his lids as he received the soft caress. 'I know...' he breathed as he closed his eyes.

'So you forgive me?' Taemin asked in a voice so soft it made the brunette shiver.

'I do,' he answered instantly, just wanting to close in on the little distance left between them.

The younger one took care of that as he claimed his lips gently at first, letting go only to grasp his lower lip. He sucked on it before adding in some biting, kneading the flesh with his teeth as he felt the other's body get tense against him. Just as he felt him trying to part, he pulled him into a hungrier kiss, letting his tongue roam around his mouth.

'Goddammit, Tae...' The other cursed as he was finally freed from the kiss.

The blonde didn't say a word. Instead, he grabbed the ends of his shirt before pulling it over his head. He threw it to the side, leaving his chest bare for the other to see. He could feel the latter's eyes on him as he went on with his pants, socks and finally, his briefs. He then faced him again, not shying away from the lust he could feel in the dark depths of his eyes.

His cock twitched as he held his gaze some more, waiting. But his patience was already growing thin. He walked over to the taller one and went on to undress him. He threw his shirt to the side as he had with his. His eyes went straight to his nipples, their sight only, making him groan. He surrendered to his desire and bit the darker flesh, before he suckled on it eagerly. He felt the other lean into him, breathing heavy, his shift creating an enticing friction between his pants and his unattended shaft. Taemin moved, giving a quick peck on the other's lean chest before going on to give his other nipple the same treatment.

'Fuck...' Kibum cursed again as he hardened more and more.

'Don't worry, we'll get to that,' Taemin teased as he straightened. His hands lost no time to slide the other's pants and underwear, letting the latter kick them off before he faced him again.

'Your bed,' the blonde ordered as he started moving towards the room.

Kibum rushed behind him, his anticipation painfully tightening his core. As he stepped in, he felt a forceful grab on his arms. The next thing he knew, he was laying on his back, his head digging into his pillows.

'You have no idea how many times I've thought about this,' Taemin uttered, voice husky with lust, as he towered over him, pressing his bulge against his. He rolled his hips provocatively which earned him a resonant moan.

'Taaaee...' The older one drawled as his cock pulsated between his legs. He hissed as fingers tightened their grip around his aroused member. A muffled moan left him as he bit his lip.

Taemin smirked as he let go. 'You're so sensitive,' he teased with a dark chuckle. 'I wonder what sounds you'll make when I get inside you,' he went on, his voice filled with want.

Kibum whined at the thought of the other's dick penetrating him. He wanted him so bad... 

'Fuck me...' he let out, heart pulsing through his temples. The lack of control he had felt unexpectedly exhilarating. He was ready to let the other do anything to him. He just wanted to feel him, inside him...

Taemin leaned down until his lips brushed the other's ear. 'Aren't you worried?' he uttered against him.

Kibum frowned. 'About?'

'You know about me sleeping with other men...' The blonde specified as he lifted the other's legs.

'I... Aaah...' Kibum's breath caught in his throat as soft fingers slid between the cheeks of his ass. His chest heaved with anticipation. 'Uuugh god...' The fingers were now circling his hole, before two slowly intruded into his tight space.

'I'm sorry, I didn't hear your answer...' Taemin mocked mischievously.

'I hate you...' Kibum managed to utter as his legs shook from the other's teasing.

Taemin plunged his fingers deeper, loving how the taut flesh stretched around them. 'No you don't...' He could already feel himself being squeezed by his incredibly hot tightness and instantly he had no more patience to tease.

He extended an arm over to the nightstand and pulled the first drawer open. His lips stretched into a smirk as he instantly found the lube. He squirted the liquid onto his palm, but gazed at the one beneath him as his hand slid on his. 

Kibum lifted himself onto one elbow. His other hand, now wet with lube, started massaging him down and up, down and up, making the tip of his dick ooze. He bit his lip at the sight, trying not to show how much that affected him.

'Uuuugh, Bummie... fuck...' Taemin watched his strokes intently, tempted to let his hand bring him to completion. But just as he could feel his body get to a higher level of heat, he stopped him. 'Not now...'

He pushed him onto his pillows, before lifting his legs again. He welcome their tight grip around his waist as he set himself right between them. He wrapped his hand around his cock, instantly finding the other's hole. He pressed the tip against the tight opening, feeling it stretch for him as he pushed in a little more.

'Aaaaah...' Kibum eyes shut tight as he wriggled his ass, trying to get accustomed to the intrusion. A sharp cry ripped from his throat as the other kept moving, not minding to be gentle.

'I'm... I'm sorry, Bummie...' He gave a sharp thrust, finally burying himself completely into his warmth. 'I can't wait anymore...' He leaned down to give him a sloppy kiss, feeling the other's eagerness against his lips.

'Move,' Kibum ordered as the blonde straightened again. 'Aaah...' The latter's thrusts were forceful, his balls slapping against his ass every time he pushed back in.

'Oh god you feel so good, Bummie...' Taemin kept his rhythm, eager to find some release. His muscles were tense with pleasure, which was only heightened by the sight of the other unraveling beneath him.

His dark bangs were sticking to his forehead, almost falling into his eyes. His parted lips gave way to wonderful sounds that made him want to wreck him even more.

'Uuugh,' the blonde groaned as he found a new spot to fuck. He moved ever so slightly each time relishing the new territory he was bruising.

The brunette moaned in sync with each thrust, making them that much more intense. 'Tae... touch me...' he begged as his cock twitched from pain and pleasure.

Taemin complied, bringing his hand around his erect member, stroking it as vigorously as he could while maintaining his pace inside him.

Kibum knew it wouldn't be long as his whole body started to shake. 'Oh god, Tae... I....' A low grunt escaped his lips as he came, shooting his load all over the other's hand.

The blonde shivered at the sight of him coming undone, fuelling his desire to fill him up. He retrieved his pace, letting his hand rest against the mattress. He gave it to him hard, his dick going deep every time. But he wasn't there just yet. He went on faster, suddenly feeling feverish.

'Come on Tae... cum inside me, baby...' Kibum pressed in utter neediness.

Taemin slammed into him one last time before his orgasm hit him, groaning through it as cum spurted out of him in thick ropes, filling the other's ass nicely. He watched it drip between his cheeks, causing him to moan.

'Oh god, Bummie...' He sighed before letting himself collapse over the other's soft body. With his head resting against the other's chest, he felt an enveloping peacefulness as he slowly came down from his orgasm.

The brunette ran his fingers through his soft blonde hair. 'That was...' He didn't know if there was any right words to express what he had felt, what he was feeling.

'I know...' Taemin moved closer, bringing his face up to his. He kissed him, softly, their breaths mingling as every thought went out the door again. 

'Stop...' Kibum said after giving him a light push. 'I don't think I can handle anymore right now...' he went on in a drowsy voice.

The younger one's shoulders shook as he laughed openly. 'Jeez... I just wanted to kiss you.' He brought a hand to his cheek, letting his thumb trace circles on his soft skin. 'You're just so beautiful...' He leaned closer again to give him a quick peck on his lips.

Kibum felt his cheeks heat up. 'So are you...'

Their eyes locked as silence settle between them. There was so much to say, but neither wanted to pull them out of this moment.

Taemin rolled off him. Guilt was invading him and he suddenly couldn't face the other anymore. He dropped gently onto his back and looked up to the ceiling.

Kibum turned onto his side, his gaze settling on his troubled face. 'Tae...' He brought a hand to his chest. 'What's on your mind?'

A sight left the younger one's lips. 'I'm sorry for what I... what I do...' He still looked up, avoiding the other's gaze.

The brunette looked down to his sheets, unsettled by the latter's sudden gravity. 'Don't be... I get that you have your reasons...' he finally said, moving his hand soothingly over his chest.

Taemin looked his way, meeting his eyes again. 'I really needed money at some point and I fell into this and...'

'You don't have to justify yourself,' Kibum cut in. His hand stopped moving. 'I just hope you...' He bit on his lip, feeling nervous.

'I will stop,' Taemin filled in as he guessed his thoughts. He then turned onto his side to fully see him. 'I've been looking through journals and websites...'

Kibum's eyebrows rose from surprise. 'Even though I kicked you out?' he exclaimed.

'Well yeah...' A thin smile stretched his lips. 'I didn't feel like I could do this anymore... not after figuring out what I was feeling...'

'Oh...' Kibum blushed. 'Well... I can help you with that... With the job search, I mean,' he added clumsily.

The other's smile became wider. 'Thanks.'

Kibum couldn't return his smile yet. There was still something to address. 'It's kinda late to ask you that, but...' His stupidity rendered him silent. He couldn't believe his responsible self hadn't fussed over it more.

'What?' Taemin pressed as he got nervous.

Kibum cleared his throat. 'Were you safe with those men?' His heart rate quickened as he waited for the other's answer.

'Yes, always,' the latter instantly reassured. 'I wouldn't have had sex with you if... I wouldn't have wanted to hurt you, Kibum...' He stressed as he felt somewhat hurt and still a little nervous. 

Kibum sighed as he felt relief wash over him. 'Okay,' he acknowledged before moving closer. It was his turn to initiate a kiss, relishing the softness of his lips one last time before he pulled back.

'Are you sure it's... that you're okay?' Taemin's voice was filled with worry.

Kibum's lips stretched into a warm smile. 'Yes, I'm okay. It's fine, Tae.'

Taemin returned the smile, feeling a little more at ease. 'So do you want me to... move back in?' he tried hesitantly.

'Yes,' Kibum answered firmly. 'I wouldn't want any other roommate.'

Taemin's smile grew wider. 'That makes me so happy, Bummie.'

The blonde brought him closer to him, suddenly holding him tight. Kibum didn't move, letting himself finally find peace in the other's arms.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Oh my god...' Kibum huffed and puffed . 'I didn't realize you had brought so much stuff with you the first time,' he complained as he lifted the box up the stairs, before dropping it in front of their door.

'Well how could you have known? You didn't help me one bit when I first moved in,' Taemin teased as he brought another box up with ease.

Kibum gave him a dark look. 'I should've done the same this time.'

'Don't be mean,' Taemin said with a pout, before taking a few steps forward, his face now only a few inches from the other's. He leaned in for a kiss but was met with the other's cold palm.

'I want to be done with this,' Kibum uttered dryly as he walked down the stairs to pick up another box.

Taemin remained still, mouth open in shock. He would make him pay for that. He finally followed down to get the rest of his boxes in. When there was none left, they both made it back inside, taking off their coats, scarves and boots.

'Finally... some warmth,' Kibum let out, relieved.

'You could've been a little warmer if you had let me kiss you,' Taemin pointed out as he crossed his arms.

The brunette rolled his eyes. 'You made me go out in the cold to pick up boxes, I was in no mood to let your lips touch mine,' he retorted.

Taemin moved closer to him again, instantly going for a little more closeness. He wrapped his arms around the other's waist, a sly smile dancing on his lips. 'And now... are you in the mood?' Taemin asked, his voice suddenly huskier.

Kibum bit his lip as he felt the other's body press against his. 'You're such a fucking tease...'

'Well I haven't seen you in days...' Taemin gave a quick peck on his lips. 'I missed you...' He then went for more, taking the other's soft lips and letting his tongue taste the sweetness of his mouth as moans rumbled in their throats.

Kibum pulled back, his chest heaving from the lack of air. His eyes instantly got caught in the other's passionate gaze. He shied from it quickly. Indeed, it had been days since they had last seen each other and he had been fantasizing about being close to him day and night. But now, he was suddenly scared.

'Maybe we should've taken things more slowly...' he voiced with guilt as he stepped back.

Taemin frowned, clearly upset by his words. 'Kibum... everything's fine...' He stepped forward, keeping his gaze on his lover's distraught expression. 'Why are you worried?' he sought as he took his hands in his.

A nervous laugh escaped the brunette's lips. 'I don't know... it's just... I don't know...' He stopped himself, trying to regain some control over his thoughts.

'I'm starting tomorrow at the café, remember?' Taemin brought up to soothe him.

Kibum nodded, slowly putting the pieces back together. He recalled snorting at how easy it had been for the younger one to find himself a new job. A few smiles and batting of his lashes was all it had taken for a manager to take him, even though he had no experience.

'I do... I'm sorry, Tae... I don't know what got into me,' Kibum uttered quickly in embarrassment.

Taemin smiled. 'I get it, Bummie... I need to earn back your trust again. And I will,' he added before putting his arms around him. He held him into a tight hug for a long moment, until he felt the other relax against him.

'But you're sure you're fine, huh?' Kibum verified with lingering worry as he pulled away.

'Why wouldn't I be? I'm with you,' Taemin answered instantly.

Kibum was tempted to roll his eyes again, but he refrained. 'Stop being so cheesy, silly. I mean no one is going to... going to come looking for you, right?'

Taemin chuckled. 'I think I wrapped things up pretty neatly. And even if they did try to find me, well... good luck. They don't know my name and I threw out the phone with the number I gave them,' he filled in.

Kibum sighed of relief. 'Thank god...' He moved only to let himself fall onto their couch.

Taemin followed him, settling right beside him. 'Stop worrying your pretty little head,' he pressed as he gave a light push on his arm.

The brunette couldn't help but laugh. 'Oh my god who would've thought having a roommate would've made things so complicated?'

'Maybe they were at some point, but what's so complicated now?' Taemin pointed out.

Kibum pursed his lips as he pondered on the question. 'I guess nothing... for now,' he added with another laugh.

'Well Jinki did warn me that you could be a pain in the ass...' The blonde teased as he leaned back slightly.

'What?' the older one roared. 'When did he say that?' he continued with barely toned down indignation.

'Well he didn't use those exact words, but that's pretty much what he meant,' Taemin went on, beyond amused at how quickly that had riled up the other.

'I'll kick his ass and then he'll really know what a pain in the ass feels like,' Kibum threatened as he crossed his arms.

'Please dont,' Taemin begged shakily through his laughter. 'I might've exaggerated a little,' he finally admitted.

Kibum huffed as he crossed his arms. 'I'll have to kick _your a_ss then.'

Taemin turned around to shake his ass at the other. He groaned as the other gave it a sharp tap. 'I think I might enjoy this,' he suggestively voiced as he turned back to face him.

'Oh my god, I hate you,' Kibum let out half-annoyed, half amused.

Taemin put a hand under his chin, forcing the other to look straight into his eyes. 'No, you don't.'

Instead of resisting, the brunette gave in, suddenly leaning forward to nuzzle his neck. 'No, I don't.'

The blonde smiled again, feeling utterly content. 'Good.' He ran his fingers through the other's soft hair.

'That means we can go skating again, right?' he tried, knowing very well what the answer would be.

'I guess,' Kibum answered, taking him off guard.

'What? Really?' Taemin exclaimed with excitement.

'I'll probably regret this conversation later, but... yes,' he reiterated. He closed his eyes as he relished the other's warmth. 'I'm happy...' he said softly.

'I'm happy too,' Taemin shared, tightening his hold around his lover.

Chance or curse, they were now in each other's lives. And whatever that would bring them in the future, right now was the only thing that mattered. 


End file.
